Although she seemed contented with her life now, Carman Lee recently revealed that she had actually been battling depression for a long time following her breakup, and the death of her father.
In a recent talk held in Shanghai, the Hong Kong actress said that her battle with depression started after she was involved in a ten-year relationship with a man 20 years her senior, which ended in 2008.
“At that time, I was living in the shackles imposed on women by many traditional concepts, living in the malicious interpretation of the gossip media, and living in the strange eyes of the public,” she said, adding that these opinions that people have of her made her felt like a failure.
Carman said that it became worse after her father died, and that she would stay home, not shower or brush her teeth for a week during its worst period. She would also go through the motion of everyday life like a robot.
“I would often look down from the balcony on the 27th floor of my home; when cutting fruit, I would suddenly raise the fruit knife and stare at it. I would also drive to the cemetery alone in the middle of the night, wandering alone and in a daze. In that place very close to death, I changed from a robot to a walking zombie,” she said.
As to how she got over it, Carman said that it only happened about six or seven years ago after she decided to accept her situation and began to focus on her fitness.
“It was like a rope that helped me climb out of the abyss of depression. When the condition is at its most serious, you can temporarily get rid of numbness and pain in the gym, regain control of your body and mind through fitness, and find inner balance and life order. I find vitality, which is the power to live!” she said.
(Photo Source: Carman Lee IG)